by Nina Calcote
I was recently inspired by Finding Grace, the first book in the Mirror Diary series. In the series Grace struggles a lot with her self image, especially when comparing herself to others. I think this felt very relatable when Grace brought up how she viewed others on social media.
As someone in my early twenties who grew up during the introduction of social media, I understand the struggles of comparing yourself to others online. I made my first Instagram account when I was eleven years old and had no limitations on my social media intake. I quickly began following girls with unreasonable bodies and life styles. I became extra hard on myself because I couldn’t obtain these things, and it felt very isolating because I felt I had no one I could talk to about my insecurities.
Social media now is more widespread and children are gaining access to it at even younger ages. It's also not something that can always just be banned, as our reliance on the internet grows and kids are destined to gain access through their friends even if they can’t access it at home. It’s important more now than ever that parents talk to their kids about their social media use and ensure that their children understand that a lot of what’s on social media is not real or obtainable. It can be a very difficult topic to talk about though, which is why I’ve put together a list of strategies for approaching this discussion that I think would have been effective on a younger me.
Open up a conversation about different / changing bodies
Helping your child to learn about different body shapes and the different speeds at which bodies grow and change can open the floor for them to talk more candidly about how they’re feeling in their bodies. They might share with you the way they see their friends or people on social media, which can help you get a firmer grasp on the content you want to encourage or help avoid.
Don’t make the conversation all negative
Social media is very desirable as it is a part of most people’s lives. If you approach the conversation with a negative tone your child might feel like you don’t understand. They might even start hiding more about their social media intake from you as they might fear your judgement once they know your negative stance.
Try to find opportunities to scroll together
Sharing your social media feed with your child and encouraging them to share theirs with you in a relaxed environment could help you get a better grasp on the content they’re consuming. You could use this as an opportunity to laugh together, talk about future goals, or steer them away from content that’s more harmful.
This could lead to deeper conversations about what’s real and what’s fake on social media. When you point out how unrealistic some of their feed is, it could help them break free of some toxic mind sets that they may be struggling with.
Encourage your child to start a journal.
Something that helped Grace in The Mirror Diaries and something that’s helped me in my own personal life, is journaling. Being able to write all your thoughts down outside of social media, in a place where only you can read them, can give the writer a sense of security. Encouraging your child to journal is encouraging them to think more deeply about their emotions and insecurities which can help them work through them much faster.
You could also give your child journal prompts which could encourage them to think about their social media intake. Prompts like “What’s one thing you learned on social media today?” or “How did your feed make you feel about yourself today?”.
MOVING FORWARD
Once you’ve established a place where your child feels comfortable to come and talk about their social media feeds, future conversations will come much easier. They will naturally share more of their feelings and insecurities with you which can give you natural opportunities to hype them up and realize what rockstars they are.
