In a past episode of Strong Girl Talk, Dr. Sasha Gollish—author of the Unstoppable journal—and Strong Girl founder Molly Hurford chatted about the art of the post-play debrief. A debrief, for caregivers who are new to sport, is just the moment when you chat with your athlete about how things went, how they’re feeling, and what they’re planning to do next. It doesn’t have to be formal—the car or on a walk is a great place for this. But it should be done often, since it’s a chance to learn more about your athlete and to help them.
This is super important because the best debriefs aren’t just about what went wrong—they’re about what we felt, what we learned, and how we grow.
Here are three questions you can ask yourself or others around you, including kids:
1) Tell me what you learned today. Tell me how you had fun today.
2) What did you find challenging today? What did you see?/Tell me what you saw?
3) What can I/can you do differently next time?
And to self-compassion, and honouring the work of Strong Girl Publishing author, Vanessa Coulbeck, this is meant to be imperfect, and it’s ok to make mistakes. Give yourself some self-compassion and kindness. Apologize to yourself and, if needed, to those around you.
Here are the resources we mentioned in the episode, which you can listen to here:
The UK Sport Institute, the presentation that Sasha saw at SPIN, that was all about their debrief and decompression work. This is the Australian Sport Institute’s Games Debrief Process.
You can find Amanda Stanec and Richard Way’s book, Protect the Joy, A Positive Collaborative Approach to Youth Sport.
We also mentioned work from Adam Grant, Stop Serving the Compliment Sandwich and Brene Brown’s Feedback Checklist. Sasha also mentioned listening to Michael Lewis’ podcast, Against the Rules, and season 2 touches on the art and science of coaching.
Additionally, we mentioned Netflix’s show, Bad Influence, which is all about social media and touched on communication. While it’s not about communication there were some important lessons in there for us all to remember, not just with our kids on social media but how we can engage with it in a responsible way.
Tell us what would help you debrief with yourself, with your partner, your kids, as a coach, or as a leader. Let us work with you to help you be your best.
